By William Cramp Fit Flyer reporters | “Making connections is more important than anything I learned in medical school,” said Dr. Dan Taylor, pediatrician and Drexel College of Medicine associate professor, in a recent interview with Fit Flyer reporters.
Social connections are when kids have healthy relationships and feel as though they belong, feel comfortable and cared for, and can talk to each other, according to the Wisconsin Office of Children’s Mental Health. Positive social connections can reduce your risk of heart attack, boost your immune system, and lower depression and anxiety, said Dr. Taylor.
Kids can make social connections by coming to school, talking to others, and making friends. Below are some Fit Flyer questions and answers from Dr. Taylor about the importance of healthy connections. His answers have been lightly edited.
Q: What is a social connection?
Dr. Taylor: The most important thing is to have a connection with somebody with what’s called respect and keeping an open mind, not making assumptions about people, really listening to what they have to say without coming up with how you’re going to respond. Taking it all in. If you think of responding while they’re talking, my grandparents used to say that’s why we have two ears and one mouth because we should be listening more than we talk.
Q: What does a social connection look like?
Dr. Taylor: It can look many different ways. I’m having a social connection right now and I already feel better than I did. If you think about somebody, you should reach out to them. If you thought about somebody in another class, touch base with them and say I was thinking about you and wanted to know how you’re doing. Then you know there are lots of people out there who want to know how you’re doing.
Q: What is an unhealthy social connection?
Dr. Taylor: One that’s really not even. Meaning one person dominates the conversation. You probably have family members or friends who are talking about themselves. You wonder why you’re even in the room. Starts a conversation without checking in to see if you’re OK. Get a feel for how someone is doing. Having equal conversation. Feels like someone’s taking advantage of the conversation.
Q: Why is connection important for our health?
Dr. Taylor: If you go back in time, there were dinosaurs and no humans. Then the dinosaurs died out and humans started evolving (changing). We didn’t have homes, didn’t know how to make homes, so we lived in caves. If you lived in a cave and had to search for food to survive, who felt safer? One person all alone? Or 20 people protecting each other? If you are with 20 people, you feel safer. Your body evolves to make sure you survive. Survival of the fittest means that the people who survived were in the best shape and also made the best social connections. They felt safer, they could get food and protect each other. Our mind and body are set up to survive—to connect to other people. When we feel isolated, we feel unsafe—even if you don’t know you feel unsafe.
Q: Why do you think there’s less social connection now than when our teachers were kids?
Dr. Taylor: The internet. Back when I was a child, we would ask someone else a question, but now we can sit alone and look on our phones. Just to find out information, we had to make a social connection.
Q: How do you think the lockdown affected the current students’ ability to make connections. Do you see kids getting better?
Dr. Taylor: Initially it was really scary, we closed the clinic and we were just at home. The first thing I did when I got home was take a shower to make sure I didn’t bring any germs to my kids. That fear from 2020-24 led to an understanding that we did it and we survived. But when we were alone, we realized how much we missed being around other people. It was one of the few times that everyone on the planet was connected because we all had the same fear. But now we are more connected in the recovery. Internet and Covid caused more isolation.
